Growing Up!

Ok. well this summer has been interesting for me to say the least. its been up and down forward and backwards. to put it in simple terms it has confused the mess out of me really. But all of the confusion has really made me want to just sit down and think things over in my life and well it makes no sense to me anymore.

I mean over the last few years i have changed so much i'm really not sure who i am anymore honestly. I know who i can be but im just not the same person i once was. I know that people change but seriously i have really changed alot and in part its due to the people that i surrounded myself with but its also my fault as well. But sure the media also has had an influence in this as well. Because today we live in a society that tells us what is the golden standard of looks like its not ok to weigh more than say 110lbs. sorry but people are not perfect, but society idolizes those who have fame and fortune and looks down on those who don't have such a glamorous lifestyle and well i reralize that now.

But over the course of the summer i have realized who my friends are and well how much i mean to them. I have also grown up alot, sure i still act crazy at times but well its good to be insane everyonce in a while though. Thats what makes life so wondefully interesting and keeps us in check at times.

This summer i have cut alot of people out of my life and put people in it, sure i question those decisions, but well i'm ultimately doing it for me and no one else. I know that there will be people that may not like me because of all of this but well they'll get over it eventually.

I'm just tired of people seeing me the way that want to see me and not even get a chance to know me. But if you get to know me well you'll understand a little more about me. Because yea at times i can be judgemental, but i honestly try not to be that way. Sure im not the best in the world, but im doing the best i can with what i have and sometimes i wish i did alot more. I have my issues and i'm working on them.

But this summer is going to be one that i remember for a very long time because of what i have learned and what i am trying to acomplish in my life. I'm trying to let go of the past, although its not always that simple its something that i have to atleast try to do and just live in the present and start planning for whatever the future yields for me. And there are some people that i want to be there for me in the future and be with me in the future but the only thing i can do about that is really pray. I know that the road in life is not always a smooth one but sometimes i wish it was a little less bumpy. because somethings i could really deal without. But its life though.

But there is one person this summer that has really turned my life upside down and well hurt me and well i forgive that person for all that and want to move forward. But like i said who knows what the future holds for us.

I have also learned this summer that you can never really and truly say never because things change. Although we may not no the outcome of it, the only thing we can do is hope and pray that it be a positive outcome for the better. But i have messed up a few things this summer that i wish i hadn't messed up but i did learn in some way from them. It may not seem like i learned anything at all, but truth be told i did and that is whats prompting all of these changes in my life.

But the two main lessons i learned this summer is that you should give it all up to God and let him have it all and the second is "never regret something that once made you smile" (lindsey Baker) and i don't regret anything that made me smile i only reflect on it and embrace it for the greater well being of myself and and its those memories that i will always cherish because they mean the most to me.

But i have realized alot and learned alot lost a few people close to me and let people go and let people in and had someone that meant alot to me walk away. I hope that that person walks back becasue it would mean alot to me, but its up to them. in a way that person is walking back in and thats the way i want it. but thats what i learned this summer and i will remeber everything that has happened and that will happen in summer 2008.

My Peeps.

Catherine: Ok so there is much to say about this one crazy cat. lol but once you get to know her she is the shizz. Yea some disagree with her musical preferences but i actually think that its very "unique" and we have been through some stuff and we manage to come out of it all un scathed and thats whats really up and i'm really glad to call her one of my best friends. And all the fun times that we have had mean alot and i hope that they continue i.e. Leaforia. lol. But you really can't help to love her and she is the most unusual person that i know. But i will always remember Florida, and Mississippi and sadly enough Six Flags and the Braves- Reds game last summer but all in all Catherine is one of the people i trust my life with and tell everything to and i would have it no other way and she hates me for one little thing that i did but that was never a major thing to worry about so sorry bout busting your lip, and the carpet burn. but you rock. out loud might i add. all in all though i love this girl and its more than i think that she knows but maybe one day.

Jaulon: Ok so me and jaulon haven't been cool for like years upon years upon years. Recently we have become friends and if not even better friends and i talk to him about alot of stuff and get his take on it and if it comes down to it i get his mom's take on stuff because she is just as awesome as he is. Yea he has been through alot and i haven't been there for him through all of that but im here now and i got dis nigaa back. dats whats up.

John: What can i really say about this guy honestly. he's one of my best friends and yea i have lots of them but we have been cool ever since our days of playing football. but in the end i want him to remember its all about the D-Line.

Sierra: Well what is ther to say about this little white girl. lol jk. seriously what is there to say she's always there when i need someone to talk to or if i have a problem and just need some advice on a particular situation and i can always say that she can talk me out of anything stupid that i might do and yea she may not be the smartest sometimes she sure is one of the best and im glad to call her a friend.

Danielle: Danielle, Danielle, Danielle. Well where to even start thats a though one. Well first of all i would like to say that i never made her list of annoyances and that saying something about me i guess. but we can agree to disagree but we agree ont he fact that auburn is better than bama any day. and i feel her pain when it comes to younger siblings but its all good. I'm glad to know her and i would not trade anything for that. And no redheads do not rule the world. lol

Brittany: This girl is my self proclaimed grandma. she knows whats best for me and she doesn't hesitate to give it to me straight. I may not listen to her at the time but in the end shes worth it and like sierra i can always go to her for advice and she knows what it is most of the time. and im always right here if she evers needs someone to talk to or just have a good time this is my lil anime obsessed grandma. word of advice though don't make her mad. she'll kick your booty.

Krystal: Well this is my little filipino and also one third of the three amigos. But i can always count on her to get out of mrs. McKean's class with me and go on epic adventures around the school and go to mr. lakin's with me.

Jasmine W: Ok so this person is the other one third of the three amigos. like with Krystal she helps us get out of classes just because we just don't want to be there and i would have it no other way good times with lakin and good ole' Angela.

Jasmine M: Well this person is my little artist (on anime) she can be an intersting character but well you never get used to her honestly, because i still haven't completly. However she is better than me on the drums and in math but other than that i can take her. But its good times like in Shypill's class that was the most fun i have ever had at making a teacher so close to wanting to quit, but she's not so bad after all.

Lee: Well there is way too much to say about this guy. well for starters this is the only person that i know that will shake your hand 5,000 times in less then 2 minutes. hes really something else but he's still pretty darn cool.

Jodel: dis my other nigga right here and well he knows how to get crunk and im right there with him on this. but this guy is a really cool cat but he needs to run from the dogs faster. lol.

Elizabeth: Okso this is E-beth and well she is a little off the deep end because according to her im a traitor. but its all good because i enjoy her very interesting/ comical blogs alot so thanks E-beth.

Bethany: Well my bethinizzle is the shizzle. lol but what can i say about her honestly. her personality is very much out there and you gotta love her.

Steven: Um well if you know skeebs you already know that i have nothing to say really. skeebs is well skeebs. need i say more.

Elisha: Mr. Bush is well Mr. Bush and i honestly think that this guy really should be the president because how awesome would that be seriously. but there are alot of good times with this cat and thats whats really up sure there are bad but i try not to think about the bad. but the fun times are always interesting.

BITR: What Scares The Living Daylights Out Of Me.

Ok well this is a very simple thing to write on now that i have thought about it long and hard and well the thing that scares the living daylights out of me, well things but yea its both of my sisters friends really.

Because my older sister has this one friend who i absolutely despise really. she has the tendency to sleep wierdly i suppose because she sleeps with her eyes open so it always looks like she is dead, but shes only sleeping really.

The other thing that scares me is when ever my little sister has friends over they always manage to freak me out in one way or another. She has this one friend that spent the night with her at my house and she felt it was a good idea to start hitting on me. what in the world and the sad thing is its not the first one of my sisters friends to do so.

so that is what scares the living daylights out of me.