Life's A Voyage That Is Homeward Bound - Herman Melville

The last few weeks of my life have been pretty hectic, but when it comes don to it i know that it is what god has planned for me. Now as i look back on them I'm not sure what god has in store for me and yeah I'm scared of what will come of it but all i can do is have faith, and i need and want to have the faith that i have been lacking for sometime in my life back. I don't know at the end of the day where I'll be but i know what i need to do. These last few weeks of my life have been up and down and i let those things get to me the most and i want to put that behind me and look at all the things that god has done for me. this week he has just blessed me in ways that i never thought possible, but them i wonder what i did to deserve this. I was blessed with a better job and i have the best people in the world in my life and i wouldn't trade them for anything.

Tuesday we had our first small groups meeting and i feel that god s using Elizabeth and i for something bigger, but who knows but him, and i was surprised at how many people came out for that. I even thought about not going because of the day that i had but for some reason i was there i don't understand it at all. The very next day i was woke up to a phone call and the person on the other end wanted me to come in for a job interview. when i left the interview i was sure that i wasn't going to to get the job, but yesterday i found out that i did get the job. It's just amazing how he works.

However though, possibly the best part of my week was after church when Elizabeth and i talked until nine-thirty. It was that conversation that things began to click for me and it made me begin to reevaluate my life and the things that i do and say. Change is always hard but in life it is sometimes necessary to survive. I love Catherine more than she thinks, and it is that love that i need to take a break away form and i know that i would give anything to be with her and i have been her friend for so long and i have always wanted to be more friends with her but right now i feel that it is best that we remain friends and as had as it is for me to say that. I just thought that what Elizabeth said to me was for my own good, because for so long i have let personal relationships get in the way of my relationship with my father, my creator and my master. I don't think it will change or affect my feelings for Catherine and our relationship, but i need to take a step back and look at life through a whole new perspective and get back to a way of life that involves a lot of change and self discovery and a way of living for the lord.

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Proverbs 16:3